Take You To Virginia
by Flutter-Pony
Summary: What happens after 'Special Education'.
1. Chapter 1

The empty fell from his fingers and clinked against it's pile of companions on the dusty apartment floor. That last one was too much, made his stomach ache with bloat. He buried his head into the sofa despite the sweat already gathered on his cheek. He wanted to drown out the local news bulletin, but he needed it too, to prove the world was still spinning.

Will had never felt so much. He hated her for what she did. How could she marry him? Carl didn't love her, not like he could. Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair and wished for the past. When things were simple, when she beamed at him, battered her eyelids at him.

No, there was never a time when things were that simple. He was married or she was engaged. She was sick or he was foolish. He looked up to the roof and begged for peace. He'd settle for just a dream of her, just a few moments where there were no obstacles. A scene where he could put one arm around her waist and she would say out loud that she loved him back. Not with a smile or her eyes like she had before, with real words, so the whole world would know.

When it was light outside he contemplated going to work in his sweats, beer stains be damned. No, he couldn't give up. Not while he was still breathing, not as long as she stood in her office nurturing those plants and letting the light beam off her skin.

A clean shirt, a blue one. Dark jeans and a belt despite his beer binge. A little hair product, a fake smile and a deep breath.

A tap on the glass.

She looks different these days. Amazing, but deflated. Her hair a little flatter. That ring is weighing her down, he is sure of it.

"You look awful" she says and he agrees, grinning self-deprecatingly.

He sits without invitation and so does she. She looked nervous, ready for a rant, an angry accusing lecture. He fights back the urge to carrying her out of here and shield her away from all of it. Protect her from the pain and squeeze her hand. Keep her for himself. He shuts his eyes and aches with the cruelty of it all.

She tries to use words "Will, we-"

"Let me talk" he croaks, adjusts his collar for no reason. "I'm only going to say this once" he says.

"I need you to know Emma, that if it was me I'd never take you to Vegas" his eyes start to tear up already and he's fiddles his fingers in frustration.

"If it was me, I'd drive you to Virginia and stand in front of your parents and even your brother and you'd be wearing a white dress, because you're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen".

"Will-"

"Let me finish. Then we'd sit in their backyard on deck chairs drinking beer in the sun and I'd pull you into my lap, and even though you'd blush like crazy, I'd kiss you for a longest time".

"Don't-"

"I'm not done"

"Please stop-"

"No, Carl played you Emma. I know because if I didn't care about you so much, I would have done it too. Dazzle you with charm and false security until you said yes to anything".

"Leave."

"If he loved you like I do, he wouldn't have rushed you."

Silence. Breathing. Loud students behind the glass.

"I'm going to wait for as long as it takes. I mean it"

"Will I'm married…"

She is reaching for her tape measure, he is staring at the part of her hair.

"I know and I want you to be happy"

"Then why are you saying all this?"

"Because I need you to know that I'm always going to be here for you… as a friend"

"Just as a friend?" she looks him with eyes that can see right through him.

"If that's what you need, then that's what I'll be Em"

"Okay" and they cried. She thinks about touching his cheek but there is too much between them.

"So I'm going to walk out now and see you at lunch" he smiles that crooked grin and tries to shake his voice of the tears.

"See you then"

"Can't wait". He is gone and she is staring after him, longing for lunch to come quickly.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to read the last chapter and review!

It's not like they say, all those divorcees. Emma didn't walked down that God awful aisle in Vegas knowing she was making a mistake. Sure, it was Carl's idea, everything was, but she had gone into it with wide eyes. She knew what she was doing.

Her whole life she craved normality and predictability and made it her sole focus. Not an easy task when you have fire red hair and a compulsion to alphabetise your grocery list. She became a guidance councillor so she could spend her days ironing out people's kinks and for the most part, she was good at it and quite content until one day she woke up, thirty years old and unconditionally in love with a married man.

Who divorced his wife and kissed her and betrayed her, which deep down she had been expecting.

Marriage and intimacy were typical and normal and Carl worked late. She would be left alone to watch the nightly news in peace. She slipped the ring on Carl's finger and felt calm, a little less alone.

It was horrible telling Will when he had that look in his eye and all the dimples in his face went deeper and darker. She was a heartless monster. She wouldn't let herself linger on it too long though. Being normal and secure was worth it all, for the first time she was putting herself first and at last, getting what she wanted.

As Will walks into the staff lounge her insides ache and as he sits beside her with a half grin she knows she'll never ever be able to put her own feelings before his, she loves him that much, and she hates herself for it.

She cries before he even has the chance to speak and the voice in her head is full of disgust and self loathing at the weakness of her resolve, exhaustion creeps further into her.

He grabs her hand, avoiding the ring, and they walk while everyone watches, to his office where no one can see in. They lean in unison against his desk and she controls herself, manipulates her eyes until tears stop falling.

For the longest time no one speaks. After what might have been 20 minutes he moves to lock the door, not remembering where he is obligated to be besides in this room with her.

"You want to talk about it?" he says looking at same spot on the floor as her.

"I'm sorry everything got so messy Will. I didn't do it to hurt you"

"Do you love him?"

"Of course, he's my husband" her face is in her hands again.

"Don't say that like it means something Emma. It was a quickie wedding in Vegas!" At last he is angry and she feels fleeting relief.

"What do you want me to do Will? Agree with you? Yes, the ceremony was tacky and I wore a rented veil. Rented. That other people had worn" she yells too but even when she yells it's meek and threatening to no one.

"I just don't understand why"

"Because I can't do it anymore. Do you know how long I waited for you and preyed that you'd leave Terri? And everyday you didn't I went home heart broken"

"And now?"

"There'll always be something. I can't live my life waiting or fighting for you, always being insecure and jealous every time another woman looks at you. With Carl I am part of something that is stable Will, I don't have to worry every minute if he is happy with me"

"I was happy with you" he whispers turning and touching her cheek.

"This is not a conversation two friends should be having" flushed, she walks out to the click of her heels.

For three days she avoids him, or vice versa, she's not sure. At night in her home with Carl they cook dinner together, he rubs her feet and they watch 'Jeopardy' instead of WOHN because he knows all the answers.

On Friday she sneaks into Glee practice and later she will say she needed to chat to Artie. She doesn't. She adores him in the choir room, the way he stands tall and counters all their snide teenage remarks.

The kids file out, she can't help but think they despise her a little for breaking him, like she despises herself.

For once he looks at her like he used to and she reciprocates and when they are alone they chat and banter about Sue and she notices he's thinner than before. She tells him.

He grunts and looks down. She has ruined the moment.

On Tuesday morning when Carl is filling cavities, Will touches the back of her hand in the school yard. She doesn't flinch but keeps talking SAT prep. On Wednesday she visits his classroom with some attendance files and stays to help the special education kids up the back conjugate verbs, not because she speaks Spanish but because he asks her with that dimple in his chin.

It's Friday again when they grab a coffee after work and he remembers how she likes her tea.

He calls her on weekends when Carl playing golf to talk about Nationals, the set list. He thinks Bon Jovi. She thinks The Beatles. She tells him the kids couldn't ask for a better director and again he tells her he loves her.

After that, they stick to text messages so nothing will tumble regretfully out of their mouths.

_HELP! We need costumes for nationals._

_What's your budget?_

_Seriously?_

_Come over. I have ideas._

_Carl?_

_No._

_?_

_At conference in NC. Come over._

_Now?_

_Yes._

_It's late._

_Please?_

_OK._


	3. Chapter 3

He knew where she lived with him. She dropped it into a conversation months back and he savoured the information, cruising past the address late some nights when it was too dark for his car to be noticed. It was creepy, he knew it, but couldn't help himself.

He didn't want to make her an adulterer, she didn't deserve that label. All she ever wanted was to make people happy, that's how she ended up in that high end apartment building with delicate ivy that climbed up the walls. She must love that.

The nameplate on the door says Howell and his shoulders tighten. This is another man's home he's walking into. He brushed his teeth twice and put on his best cologne hoping he could walk into some other man's apartment and touch another man's wife.

He was a vile person for doing this. She answers the door in a pink dress and twists her mouth into a nervous smile. She blushes and glows all at the same time, he wonders if Carl keeps her up at night making her blush and glow like that.

Costumes. He is here for costumes.

"Have you been drinking?" she turns her head to the side like she always does when he surprises her. He didn't brush his teeth well enough. He nods and laughs a little. She bites her lip.

They stare at each other. Stiffly and expectantly.

She asks and he says yes to a drink and they sit on a leather sofa that doesn't suit her.

Talking about Glee settles his nerves and he can tell she's relaxed because when she finishes her wine she starts talking with her hands and one of them brushes against his knee, gently and softly but not accidentally.

While she's happy he wants to tell her that yesterday Kurt said she was the best dressed teacher in the school. That the kids call them 'Wemma'. That last week Brittany asked if red heads were just sunburnt blondes.

He just smiles at her instead, feeling tipsy and content to just sit with her. She opens her mouth and he wishes she wouldn't because he can tell she's thinking hard before she speaks and that never ends well for either of them.

She takes a deep breath and he winces.

"Tell me again what it would be like … for us?"

"Do you really want to have this conversation?" she ignores him.

"I … had a piano in my old apartment, you would have liked it I think" she is staring at the buttons on his shirt, chewing her lip between words.

"Sometimes I used to think about you resting your coffee cup on the piano and coaching the Glee kids in my living room. I could help you, I mean I can play too, Gosh not as well as you but still… I used to think about that a lot."

She holds his hand in hers as she's talking and he feels woozy and hot and angry. His hand flinches out of her grip for the first time ever.

"Don't say things like that!"

"Why? You did!"

"I'm not married! Emma, I mean it, I'll wait for you for as long as it takes, but you can't bring me here and tell me these things and God, look like that! All I want to do is touch you, all of you but I'm not going to have you on Carl's couch after a few glasses of red. You deserve better than that and damn it, so do I"

He's disgusted by what he just said but won't regret it. It was the truth.

"I think I should go" he cracks and she grabs his hand again. Tight.

She asks him to stay and he can't refuse her.

There are thuds and footsteps in the neighbouring apartments and for a while they sit together, threading fingers and bumping shoulders and listening.

Her eyes get heavy and then she's sleeping against the arm of the sofa still holding his hand. He kisses her goodnight on the forehead softly and then on the mouth because he can't help himself. Her eyes flutter open and she whispers his name, he says no. She says it again, with force, and wraps her arms around his neck. He's never heard anything said with that much conviction. She leads him to the bedroom. He lifts up her dress and ignores Carl's smiling face hanging on the wall.

"Stop" he says to himself and then her. Her hair is tousled. He did that. He's out the door before she can agree or apologize or beg him to stay. He smells her perfume all the way back to his apartment.

The next day it's Sunday and snowing. He lies awake and wonders if she'll still wear a skirt when she picks Carl up from the airport. He drinks more beer. At six his doorbell rings and she's standing there in a beret, shaking and forgetting to blink.

She's leaving Carl she says. She's left Carl. She's going to stay with her folks over Christmas to get herself together. "I don't want you to see me this way" she whispers. He protests and she takes his face in her hands and kisses his nose.

She promises to call when she's back in town. He tells her he loves her and hears her say it back before she leaves.


	4. Chapter 4

The drive back to Lima was long and left her feeling heavy, groggy. Her parents had been loving but not helpful. It was uncomfortable talking to them about the wedding they weren't invited it to. They knew her well enough not to ask questions, she knew to fake a smile and pretend that she was happy being single again.

They didn't know about Will. Maybe she'd never mentioned his name to them. From the moment she had met him, he became her secret.

"_Is this a bad time?"_

"_Oh, no come in"_

"_You look like your busy cleaning…"_

"_No, no…. just…. Dusting. I'm Emma Pillsbury"_

"_Will. Schuester, I take Spanish."_

"_What can I do for you Will?"_

"_I need some advice. One of my seniors is going through a break up and is refusing to speak to any men. Teaching staff included"_

"_I see. First love is tough"_

"_Tell me about it! It's been going on for a week now. I was hoping I could send her your way for a bit of … girl talk"_

"_Of course. Anytime"_

"_Thanks so much. I just don't want her thinking we're all cheating scum. Men I mean"_

"_I'm sure no one would ever think that about you"_

"_Well, I can only hope my wife feels the same way as you"_

She couldn't drag anyone else into the whirlwind that was Will. It would be too difficult to disguise the tears in her voice, even over the phone.

She slumps into her Lima apartment and can see the dust moving in the musty air. Her phone vibrates inside her purse. Carl. It's always Carl with the romantic words that beat her down and make her feel worse still.

She had spent Valentines Day in Virginia, rugged up on her brother's sofa, playing Monopoly and laughing about aging parents that say the darndest things. She had enjoyed herself until she walked back to her childhood home to a grand bouquet of red roses waiting on the front step. She had to tell Carl where she was going, she owed him that. But she thought she'd made herself clear.

_I don't want to be married to you anymore_ she had said, like a child picking a new favourite colour. Perhaps if she had told the whole truth, how Will held up his umbrella for her when they walked thru the parking lot, how she begged him to kiss her and still didn't regret it, maybe then he wouldn't be trying hopelessly to woo her.

She presses the buttons until it's silent, unstraps her left foot and right and leans against the kitchen bench. She dials numbers to play back a message. Not Carl's.

Her parents bought her shoes for her birthday, with leather soles and colourful buckles. Her brother gave her a portrait painted by a 4 year old, in a frame that said _I love you Aunt Emma_ in glittered letters. Carl was ignorant of her 31st birthday just one day before Valentines, it wasn't his fault but Emma added to her mental list of his flaws.

Will gave her a voice message that lasted 26 seconds.

"I'm giving you space, I promise. I just… Happy Birthday and I hope everything back home is perfect. God, I miss you and I really want to talk to you. Ok. Sorry. Just call me when you get back. Please. Even if it's late. Call me."

She calls him back because it makes her smile still.

"Hey" he sounds strained and tired

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just stubbed my toe running to get the phone"

She giggles and thinks he couldn't be more adorable.

"How was home?"

"Virginia? It was just what I needed"

"And Carl?' he breathed in as he spoke, weighing every letter.

"He's… the same as always… he's still legally my husband"

" I do-"

"I just want to talk about us Will. It's not fair to discuss Carl, he's not the guilty one here"

"Neither are you, Em"

"That's a lie and you know it" she's crying and she knows he can tell. "I was forcing myself on you"

"Stop it Emma. We have feelings for each other and Carl knew that. He knew everything from day one, I made sure of it"

He's right but they both feel guilty, swallowing nervously and sighing into their phones. After a minute she speaks, and lays down on the sofa, letting her legs dangling over one end.

"About us…"

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes. I love you and I want to give it a shot" she feels corny saying it out loud and then remembers all the times he said it without a response and feels guilty. Again.

"So what happens now?"

"I have to file papers and talk to Carl's lawyers"

"I thought we were talking about us?"

"We have to go slow Will"

"…. Can I come over?"

"That's not slow" she chuckles despite herself

"I have something for you. For your birthday"

She smirks to herself and forgets Carl's face for the first time in months.

"Tell you what Em. I'll just leave the present at your door and then I'll see you at school tomorrow"

"Sounds perfect"

An hour later she hears his car clunk away and picks up the envelope he slid under her door.

It's white and plain and has her name scribbled in his tangled writing that somehow reminds her of his curls.

She ignores her luggage abandoned in the hall and tears the paper gently.

_Em. _

_I'm writing everything down so it's clear for both of us and so you can make up your mind properly. I'd be lying if I said I knew what Carl means to you, but I know that you care so much about every single person in your life and I want you to do what is best for you. _

_I know I sound like a broken record, but I really do love you. And I know it's too soo,n but one day I do want to marry you, even though between us we've all but destroyed it, I believe in marriage and letting the whole world know how much you love someone. _

_I want to live with you and I want you to teach me how to bake cookies. Occasionally I want us both to call in sick on Monday morning and spend the whole day in bed together. I want to get to know your family and to be honest, I want them to love me. I want you to know how attractive you are and how much I want you all the time._

_I'm not naive. I know you must spend outrageous amounts of cash on those outfits you wear, and we're going to argue about it more than once. And I'll get frustrated over Glee rehearsals and take it out on you. And then I'll be sorry. But I'll always respect you._

_You already know I want kids. That won't change. You'll be the sexiest, tidiest, loving mother in the world, whether they're biologically ours or not. _

_So that's it. The whole truth, everything I want._

_See you at school,_

_Will._

She folds the paper neatly carrying it with her to her room, imagining the day when Will might be waiting for her under the covers.


End file.
